When you are busy with a newborn baby, sex can drop quite low on your ‘to do’ list.  If it isn’t even comfortable when you do find the moment, it is all too easy to lose the intimacy in your adult relationship.  There are some simple but effective things you can do yourself, straight away, to improve your comfort and enjoyment.

 Blog Series: Getting your Mojo back:

• # 1 what is good postnatal sex anyway & what if things are really not right
• #2  what to do when postnatal sex is painful
• # 3  what to do when postnatal sex is just a bit flat

Two quick tips:

Commit to a couple of weeks of daily pelvic floor exercises to bring about proper change in these muscles.  The pelvic floor muscles play an important role in giving you a sense of closure around your partner as well as support and friction to create your own pleasurable sensations. 

Taking time out to deliberately exercise the pelvic floor muscles will bring blood flow to the area, tone and tighten the muscles and improve your ability to feel the walls of the vagina during sex.  Many women report they are able to reach orgasm more easily, and that their orgasms are more powerful, after focusing on pelvic floor muscle exercises

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#2 Keep a personal lubricant in your bedside table drawer 

The hormone changes of pregnancy and breastfeeding can leave your body surprisingly dry at the vaginal opening and deeper inside.  When you are trying to grab a quick sexy moment, with maybe less time than usual to get in the mood, your body may not produce enough natural lubrication.  This can make penetration painful or  the movement of your partner inside you can feel like a friction burn.  

Using a personal lubricant during your foreplay (it works best if you put it on both of you) can make a magical transformation to your comfort and enjoyment.

If you are still experiencing discomfort after boosting your pelvic floor muscles, trying a personal lubricant and the other tips in this series, then don’t hesitate to talk to your GP. 

They will be sympathetic and impressed that you have already tried these first steps.  Your GP  can organise referral to a specialist physiotherapist to give you personal 1:1 assessment and guidance,  and they will be able to move on to other investigations of the possible causes of your pain.

You can and will enjoy comfortable sex again – but you must be brave to let them know that you are suffering.   

 Blog Series: Getting your Mojo back:

• # 1 what is good postnatal sex anyway & what if things are really not right
• #2  what to do when postnatal sex is painful
• # 3  what to do when postnatal sex is just a bit flat

Please do ask questions or share your story here. Your experience will help others too. #NoMoreMiserableMums