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Postnatal sex giving you Valentine’s blues?

When you are busy with a newborn baby, sex can drop quite low on your ‘to do’ list.  If it isn’t even comfortable when you do find the moment, it is all too easy to lose the intimacy in your adult relationship.  There are some simple but effective things you can do yourself, straight away, to improve your comfort and enjoyment.

Two quick tips:

#1 . Pelvic floor exercises improve sexual health too

Commit to a couple of weeks of daily pelvic floor exercises to bring about proper change in these muscles.  The pelvic floor muscles play an important role in giving you a sense of closure around your partner as well as support and friction to create your own pleasurable sensations. 

Taking time out to deliberately exercise the pelvic floor muscles will bring blood flow to the area, tone and tighten the muscles and improve your ability to feel the walls of the vagina during sex.  Many women report they are able to reach orgasm more easily, and that their orgasms are more powerful, after focusing on pelvic floor muscle exercises

POGP how to do pelvic floor exercises
POGP: excellent guide to PFM exercises
 Download a free pdf booklet here.

And clear video instructions in our Pelvic Floor School


#2 Keep a personal lubricant in your bedside table drawer 

The hormone changes of pregnancy and breastfeeding can leave your body surprisingly dry at the vaginal opening and deeper inside.  When you are trying to grab a quick sexy moment, with maybe less time than usual to get in the mood, your body may not produce enough natural lubrication.  This can make penetration painful or  the movement of your partner inside you can feel like a friction burn.  

Using a personal lubricant during your foreplay (it works best if you put it on both of you) can make a magical transformation to your comfort and enjoyment.

If you are still experiencing discomfort after boosting your pelvic floor muscles, trying a personal lubricant and the other tips in this series, then don’t hesitate to talk to your GP. 

They will be sympathetic and impressed that you have already tried these first steps.  Your GP  can organise referral to a specialist physiotherapist to give you personal 1:1 assessment and guidance,  and they will be able to move on to other investigations of the possible causes of your pain.

You can and will enjoy comfortable sex again – but you must be brave to let them know that you are suffering.   

Please do ask questions or share your story here. Your experience will help others too. #NoMoreMiserableMums


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